
When a person is abusing alcohol, 3 types of enabling
alcohol behaviors can occur in his family members and friends. When you recognize these behaviors, it can be
the first step in reaching out for help.
First, enabling behaviors can be passive. This can include pretending the problem does
not exist, wishing or hoping he will change, or tolerating behavior that you
should not tolerate.
A second set of enabling behaviors includes the
consequences of your loved one's alcoholism.
Rather than forcing him to be responsible, you may be taking on
alcoholic accountability yourself. Some
examples may include lying for him when he is in an accident or does not go to
work, paying his bills for him when he is irresponsible with his money, or
providing basic necessities that he should be providing for himself.
A third common behavior that enables an alcoholic is
actively encouraging his addiction. You
may be allowing him to drink in your home, providing transportation to bars,
giving him money for alcohol, or even drinking with him.
All of these behaviors are harmful to you, as well as
to the alcoholic in your life. You are
not only helping him continue drinking without bearing any of the
responsibility, but you are also harming yourself and your own life. For this reason, an alcohol abuse
intervention is the best course of action.
There are two benefits to an intervention. One benefit is it will give your loved one
the opportunity to make a decision of his own free will, and place him in the
position of taking full responsibility for that decision. He can either choose to start a treatment
program, or be forced to stand on his own two feet.
A second benefit is an intervention will end your
direct involvement in his problems. He
will learn you will no longer take responsibility for him. You will be able to focus on your own life,
rather than his life.
If you have an alcoholic in your life, ask for help in
staging an alcohol abuse intervention.
You do not need to continue enabling him, and allowing the effects of
his drinking to ruin your life. Instead
of continuing behaviors that are harmful to everyone, you can both have a fresh
start.